i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
