her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I want her autograph on my taint
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
