just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
