I think I won the penis lottery.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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