So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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