Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I want her autograph on my taint
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
