You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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