Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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