I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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