the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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