Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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