How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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