Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
