"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
