I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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