Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize