i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
