I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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