i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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