covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
