I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
