Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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