Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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