Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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