Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize