my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
