i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
