dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
