So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
