At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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