He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
