i permit you to call me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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