Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
