I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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