u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
