I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
