I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
