i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
