Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Randomize
