I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize