yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
