Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
