There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
