Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
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You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
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We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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