Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He felt like a one man threesome
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
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