pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
