Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
