I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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