Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.

(1-740): View more from Ohio

How does this kind of shit happen to you?!

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday

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(805): View more from California

I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot

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(203): View more from Connecticut

DETAILS

(201): View more from New Jersey

long story

(203): View more from Connecticut

just tell me the parts i wanna hear

(201): View more from New Jersey

weed, brooklyn, rough sex.

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