OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
