Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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