I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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