Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize