I accidentally burped into my bong.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Drake has all the answers
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
