How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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