I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
