I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
