used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
